Monday, April 02, 2007

Happened to come across a certain issue and even after 2 hours of discussion with my bf, i still can't shake it out of my head. So i thought probably mention it and see you guy's take on it..

Why are we placing so much emphasis on looks? Why being is slim and pretty or tall and hunky so sought after, while anything less than the perfect model look is deemed undesirable? Why are people constantly trying to change themselves by dieting or by plastic surgery? Are they mindless people trying to fit themselves into a certain small oppressing 'box' set by a certain few people in society? Or do you say they are determined and strong people trying to maximize their potential and improving themselves because they know they can be better?

When i hear things like guys dump their girlfriends, giving the reason that the girl is not hot enough, or there are hotter girls to shag. I must admit I jumped to preconceived notions and immediately condemned them as superficial bastards. I thought that by basing their choice on such a reason just makes them unforgivable and shallow. Super shallow bastards. I don't understand why is there even this idea that it should even matter that much. But, it's a dilemma. Society thinks good looks is great! Everyone is working hard to look better and we are superficial shits too, judging people by how they look. (For example, alot of people think I have a pissed off face when i don't smile so I'm a scary person. haaa..) But when there are people who make their choice based on looks, we condemn them. We say they are superficial. Aren't we just hypocrites who like to hide behind this angelic facade, cheating ourselves to think we are holy saints who don't think looks are important, while they are the ones who are honest. They think looks matter, they admit so and their behaviour reflects it.

A very interesting question posted by my bf is that 'why is breaking up coz she's not pretty enough not ok while breaking up coz she's not nice enough is acceptable?' Probably he's right in the sense that ultimately the reason doesn't matter. If you're unsatisfied with something and you're not happy with the person (for whatever reason) and you have the right to look for someone better who can fit your expectations. In the end, everyone is just looking for their perfect mate and happiness, so there's no need to judge them for the criterias they set.

Probably I'm so uptight over this is because I feel like why choose to break up with her over something she has no control over! It's seriously not her fault she's born with small eyes or small breasts or whatever thing that you guys think is too small lar. It's such a feeling of helplessness, like there's really no hope. There's nothing she can do to change to be better to keep the relationship. Then, the rebuttal comes: even though the person can't help about the way he/she looks, the partner should not be the one to bear the responsibilities. He shouldn't be tied down in any way just because it is something that cannot be changed. Sigh..I have nothing to argue for that. haa..

I guess saying the person is a bastard is probably really too harsh. But no matter what, I think it's a really silly thing to focus on. Looks matter, of coz they do. But I dont think I'll dump my bf just coz he loses his abs or something and hopefully I can say the same for him. haa.. Looks is just a fleeting 'good', it can't last forever. So why base your choice on such an uncertainty? What happens when it's gone? Is there anything else to fall back on? It's just so silly to focus on that and probably overlook all the other good things in a person.

I know it's really bad to be so judgmental and jump to conclusions so easily but it breeds insecurity to know that looks are so important. How can I allow myself to grow just a tiny inch of cellulite or grow a pimple or forget to shave my armpit hair (lol) or get fat after a pregnancy or grow old and wrinkly and still know that it doesn't matter? That the special someone will still love me for whatever form I morph into one day. It's just so sad.

Anyway, my conclusion is that everyone has different things they value more. And if someone wishes to make his decisions based on the outside looks, it's fine. So long as they are happy doing what they are doing. And.....they better bloodly hell make sure their next gf is prettier than the one they dumped. haa..

Anonymous rocking off at 9:42 PM

***