Thursday, April 05, 2007

Hey guys, no replies to siying's post? except for alex's tag?

well, siying, i am not a guy, but i've got some comments. although i am no wiser than you guys, i am older---hmm, let's see you guys are 03S73, i'm from 94S73, so I am 9 yrs older... ok. here's my 2 cents worth (from a little more experience in life)

my parents brought me up to regard looks as superficial too. so does my religion. both have always encouraged me to build on inner beauty only. aiyah once you see my childhood photos you'll see.. my mom dress me in tees and shorts mostly, no princess studio shots (like other girls)... cut hair also she cut for me until i went to NY still she cut...

as i grew up and went to school, i realised that reality is that people have a first impression of you and it sticks, and first impressions are based on looks. it can't be inner beauty because they haven't got the chance to know you better yet.

so in pri sch, i realised why the head prefect has to be the good looking one... hmm... because she is the most popular and the teachers love her angelic face and sweet smile?

then in Sec sch, popularity is mostly based on looks and popularity will get you certain things too. only thing it is not that bad in an all girls school, cos we don;t have to vie for the guys' attention. :-)

oh in JC and Uni, it was the same. look at the councillors, look at any positions in Excos of CCAs... who gets the most votes? must be good-looking, besides talents you know. who are the teachers' pet? not the nerd in class who can answer the teacher's every Q you know? it is the good looking one... Ok, must say, not all trs are like that (eg. me, haha) but some are.

Hey Jc and after was the worst, i realised at scholarship interviews or even Medicine interviews, this rule also applies! just a disclaimer, i did get a scholarship in JC and I didn't go for Medicine interviews, so it is not a personal experience, but rather looking at which of my classmates got in. some had better results than others but failed to enter, some didn't do so well but got in! i can only say it was the performance at the interview. it may be that good-lookers talk better because they are more confident. they know, "hey I look good..."... but it could be that because they look good the interviewers just naturallly have a better impression of them.

ok, then jobs... this is not a secret. you know how they call pple for interviews? check out the photos on the application forms, really. not just for the secretary jobs you know... everything.
when i was doing honours, cannot name names, but even this post grad who helped to interview potential masters students with the supervisor, they were all looking at the photos to decide which can get the place lor.

then even in schools, when there are so many teachers applying for a single post, i have personally encountered how they decide by looking at the photos, cos their qualifications were similar.

Promotions too.

then there are casual social situations. from my dad, i thought all good guys also look at inner beauty. that most guys are not shallow or superficial? oh man, when i had better or closer guy friends, esp at work (again cannot name names, haha), i realise hey, do guys all think like that? these people are people who I respect a lot in their work, they look so gentlemanly and they are just great people... but their basic instincts are all the same!!!! i cannot go into details but the talk that i get to hear when they are discussing girls together, i can only draw one conclusion. to men, looks are important. and siying, unfortunately it kind of includes certain parts of the body.
:-)

Well, up till here it sounds pretty sad for pple who don;t think they are good looking right? not to worry. i feel also that for everyone, what you were born with, you can enhance. so for everyone there is the maximum potential and we must make sure to achieve that.

for one, always looks pleasant and neat. so errm, i wouldn't say shaving armpits is superficial. i think it makes one look more pleasant and neat? :-) the same goes for plucking eyebrows, perhaps keeping a clean face, using nice smelling shampoo.... wearing clothes that hide your weaknesses and highlight your assets? having a suitable hairstyle? yup... we may not all have that much money to go for high end treatments, facials or plastic surgery but i think we can do the basic, and once we do that we feel better, when we are more confident, have high self-esteem, then we will do better in everything too... job, studies etc.

as for bf, or even gf and getting your lifelong partner, not to worry. when you've done the above, and are confident and happy, you naturally have a glow, and then your partner will think you are beautiful. by then, he or she will have known you much better and seen your inner beauty. there will definitely be things unique and special to you that others don't have, and that partner will realise that he can only find that in you. and thus, you can get married and be happy ever after. oh, he may glance at other pretty girls once in a while, especially when you get older. but just let him be (no need to get angry), he belongs to you and will never stray more than just that glance, as long as you maintain that inner beauty and those special things that belong to you, or the both of you only.

that's how i went through life, despite not being blessed with extreme beauty. haha. and i do consider myself as being very successful and happy you know. and i am very confident (to the point of being too hao lian, as my good friends will tell me). that's what matters. i am very happy and contented now.

hope it has been a little enlightening or maybe at least an uplifting post.

tjmummy rocking off at 2:45 PM

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